I’m so honored to be guest blogging for my girl Kris Carr over at www.crazysexylife.com. If you’re not familiar with Kris Carr, please do yourself a favor and get to know her – pronto! Her film, Crazy Sexy Cancer is a good place to start.  And if you want to rev up your health and start feeling better than ever, you’re going to want to grab her brand new book Crazy Sexy Diet right away! Here is a transcript of my post:

The Tumor on My Last Nerve

Did you know you have twelve nerves in your head? I don’t get too picky about the exact whereabouts, but I know that they are located somewhere around your brain stem and each one has a different gig. For example, your eighth cranial nerve controls the hearing in your left ear. Or maybe it’s the right ear. I’m absolutely certain about the job of the last one, the twelfth cranial nerve. It controls the motor function on the left side of your tongue. I know this definitively because in January 2007, my doctor called to tell me that “unfortunately” (the word you never want to hear after an scan of your noggin’) I have a small mass on my twelfth cranial nerve.

This explained why I had found it increasingly difficult to articulate certain words that require major use of the tongue, like “Google.” Say it out loud right now. Really. Notice the Herculean job that goes on inside your mouth as you pronounce this relatively recent verb? Your tongue gets a workout from stem to stern. Go ahead, say it with me: Google. I can pronounce it, but I’ve lost about 40 percent of my motor function due to the tumor on my last nerve.

So what’s the big deal about losing 40 percent use of one side of your tongue? I suppose it wouldn’t be much of a deal at all if it weren’t for the fact that I use my voice for a living. Maybe you’ve heard of a little Broadway musical called, “The Phantom of the Opera”? There’s this dude with a gnarly face who wears a white mask and chases around a young soprano named Christine Daaé. That young soprano on Broadway was me from 1998 until 2006 (at which point the “young” part became debatable). For an actress and singer, the tongue, as well as every other mechanism involved in vocalization, is of critical value.

The good news is that the tumor on my last nerve is not life-threatening. But the docs stop short of calling it benign due to its rather precarious position at the entry point of my brain and the fact that unfortunately it could become malignant at any time. So what does one do when faced with such anxiety-provoking news? Fortunately, my acting background provides several useful tools for dealing with what, in a script, would be called “the given circumstances.”

My given circumstances currently look like this: I may lose my ability to sing. I may become incurably ill. I may die.

But as I begin to play out that scene, I can almost literally hear my acting teacher clap his hands to interrupt the action: “Sandra, don’t play the end of the scene at the beginning.”

Sometimes actors enter a scene prepped for what they know is coming – the emotional breakdown, the knock-down drag-out – and they bring that negative energy into the scene before the conflict has even begun. It lends an unnecessary weight and edge to what is actually happening in the moment.

Do you ever find yourself doing this in life? I know I do. If we’re not awake and aware, it’s all too easy to project forward into imagined circumstances that haven’t even occurred. We brace ourselves, armed for battle and bring fearful energy into our current reality. When we do that, we rob ourselves of the joy and freedom being offered in the here and now.

Even in a play, when the script is already written and you know precisely how it’s going to end, it doesn’t serve you or the play to act with foreknowledge. In acting, as in life, you and your fellow players are best served by staying present, saying “yes” to what is happening right now, and allowing room for surprise.

Today, the little beauty near my brain is holding steady not causing me a bit of trouble. If it weren’t for my tiny tumor, I may never have found Kris Carr and gotten my Crazy Sexy lifestyle on. When I remain present to this moment, the given circumstances of my life look very different:

I am sitting at my desk typing a guest post for my favorite blog. I feel better than I have in years. I love and appreciate the gift of being able to use my voice not only to sing but as a tool for positive change in the world.

As you act out the script of your life, ask yourself, “Am I playing the end of the scene at the beginning?” “Can I say ‘yes’ to what is happening in the present moment?”

Meanwhile, mind if I ask you a favor? Celebrate your tongue today. Use it wisely. Sing at the top of your lungs. Speak your truth boldly. Give a special something-something to your honey. Significant others can thank me later.

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Who knew health and happiness had a club? I don’t know about you, but the title alone makes me want to join ASAP. Imagine how honored I was to have been asked to contribute to their celebration of Women’s History Month. My interview is now up on their site. Please check it out, leave a comment, and share a little health and happiness with your pals on FB and Twitter.

Health and Happiness Club

xoxo,

Sandra

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I’m so incredibly excited to share this news with you. I’m going to be teaching a 5-day workshop called Performing as a Path to Presence during Arts Week at the renowned Omega Institute this summer (July 10th-15th). The course description JUST landed on their website. Check it out here:

I would be so honored to have you join me. Performing experience is NOT required! It’s going to be a blast-I promise!

Click here to get the hot-off-the-presses scoop

I’ve taken many workshops at Omega over the years and have always come away enriched, rejuvenated, and inspired.  I’m going to work my tushie off to make sure the same is true for you should you decide to spend the week with me.

Registration just opened so hop on over and secure your spot in Performing as a Path to Presence

See you there!

xoxo,

-Sandra

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